essays from ted cox, america's most fragrant left-handed writer
Here’s the confirmed speaking gigs for the Spring semester:
University of Utah, Salt Lake City
February 23, 2013
Alma College, Alma MI
March 13, 2013
University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign
April 20, 2013
Twice a year, 40 Days for Life protests take place outside abortion clinics across the country. This year, the 40th anniversary of the Roe v Wade decision, I’ll spend time on the sidewalks with these pro-life activists, collecting their stories and learning more about their motivations and tactics. I’ll also speak with clinic employees, doctors, volunteers, and clergy about the history and future of abortion in America. If all goes well I’ll visit a couple of protest sites outside Washington.
As I’ve researched the topic I’ve already compiled 25 questions I’d like to answer — a number that will undoubtedly grow over the course of my investigation.
I’m excited and nervous about this project. And hopefully I’ll post updates as the 40 days progresses.
First off, you probably shouldn’t have been fucking in the front seat of a car in a lit and well trafficked driveway. So, really, this whole thing wasn’t my fault. But I’m sorry for my part in making it even more awkward.
Here’s what happened: The other night I was taking down the trash to the dumpster outside my apartment. I saw you, dude, sitting in the passenger seat of a parked and running car. Nothing strange about that, of course. But then I see the back of someone’s head bouncing up and down and — Christ, you’re fucking someone in an alley.
It was too late to go back inside. I had already made eye contact with you. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to turn around — it was cold and I had chores to do and you’re fucking someone in an alley.
When I moved here my friend Mandy warned that Seattle people love being naked. And I’m fine with that. But it’s a bit of a shock having seen three different neighbors parading naked in front of their open windows. Oh, and the couple having sex in front of an open window clearly visible from my other friend’s patio and to anyone else living above the third story in that giant building a just few yards away.
Let me be clear: Really, I’m happy for you two. Yay, sex! Yay, naughty bits! I’m glad that the two of you were engaged in a vigorous act of consensual pole vaulting. But I didn’t need to look up from the garbage bin to see your cowgirl friend making eye contact with me. Jesus. It was already awkward enough. And I didn’t know what else to do except give her a thumbs up.
Yeah, for that I’m sorry. I didn’t make it any better. But at least cowgirl laughed.
So, again, I feel bad for my part in making this even more awkward. But, really, in an alley?
And thanks a lot for making me feel some dread after going back up to the apartment and realizing there was another bag of garbage to take down.