Ted Cox’s ignominious writing career has involved tracking down a little-person prostitute, becoming a vegetarian, getting a Brazilian wax, tagging along with a pot delivery driver, observing a Jell-O wrestling match (for charity), wearing a bear suit to a furry convention, going undercover at a gay-to-straight therapy retreat, hanging out at pro-life protests, and writing bios in the third person. His article ideas have been rejected or ignored by dozens of major national publications.